Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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