Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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