I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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