I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
