im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize