You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
