He uses pillows to masturbate.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
