My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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