ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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