Screwed.edu
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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