i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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