Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
