There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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