how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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