You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize