i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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