Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
