I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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