there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
