"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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