Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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