good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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