She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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