is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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