I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
