i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
