my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize