We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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