I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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