Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
