This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
