Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
