i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
