How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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