Me too!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Someone shattered a urinal.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
