considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
