I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
