And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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