just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
