What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
