If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I believe in your delicious
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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