have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
