What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
