It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
