maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize