At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
