CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
