I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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