we have officially lost it.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
