: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
