What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
