i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
