fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
