I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
