Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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