You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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