You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
