who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
