Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
