I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
