Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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