i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
