she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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