No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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