Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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