are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
