I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize